When will I learn to lay it down?

I have been a fool... to think tt I cld survive on my own. My journey had been perilious, riding the waves simulating my ever-changing emotional state. Having to deal with reality, with the pains of growing up... I had fallen many a times.. but each time God reaches out to me, I push him away. I was nothing but an emotional wreck. A perfect composure on the outside but inside, I was boiling from the turmoil and unrest that churned from the depths from my soul. I was weak, confused, lead astray by the evil insights of this world; and yet in denial that what I needed was his love, his care, his guidance. I have been a fool for much too long...will u Lord still take me back? To open me and break me like a flower in the rain?

Lay it down -- Jaci Velasquez

I’ve been looking ‘til my eyes are tired of looking
Listening ‘til my ears are numb from listening
Praying ‘til my knees are sore from kneeling
On the bedroom floorI know that
You know that my heart is achingI
’m running out of tears and my will is breaking
I don’t think that I can carry
The burden of it anymore
All of my hopes and my dreams and my best laid plans
Are slowly slipping through my folded hands

I’ve been walking through this world like I’m barely living
Buried in the doubt of this hole I’ve been digging
But You’re pulling me out and
I’m finally breathingIn the open air

Chorus
So I’m gonna lay it downI’m gonna learn to trust You now
What else can I do
Everything I am depends on You
And if the sun don’t come back up
I know Your love will be enough
I’m gonna let it be, I’m gonna let it go
I’m gonna lay it down