let the rain fall down..all over me

feeling a sense of dread wash over me...its just unexplainable..senseless...

I'm so tired of being here.
supressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave,
I wish that you would just leave.
cause your presence still lingers here,
and it won't leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.

(chorus)
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.

You used to captivate me by your resonating light,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts, my once pleasant dreams
Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me.
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.

I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone.
But though you're still with me,
I've been alone all along...

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
And I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.

time goes by..only bringing me closer to you...

WAHAHA..its only 48 hrs more to my freedom!!! can't believe this..so exciting... no more books..no more studying..live out my stress-free days..

I've got soooo many plans installed for this holiday.. in fact it may not even seem lyke a break anymore. But wth..NO MORE STUDYING!!! tts the best part! tee hee..*sniggers*

kk..lets see..we have a whole week of planning to do for R.A.T race (tt is if the programme actually manifest becoz right now we've bumped into a slight problem..ahem..kinda huge in actual fact..a SHORTAGE OF COMPETITORS!!! *slaps forehead* my gosh..) oh well, its only inevitable tt our efforts and all the planning is susceptible to the participation of our customer field..guess the NTU population ain't too keen on these kinda adventure races. Bah...anyway yep.. a whole week of preparation before the big event on the 8th Dec. then following tt.. a whole week of partying and meeting up with frens!!! its my bdae btw on the 16th (fri)..*bleah* but think i've got to arrange a celebration on my own again..haha.. oh well. the next day..i will be whizzed off to mount Kinabalu with the O.D.A.C family!! yee haa!!! for a whole 4 days of fun-filled, soaking wet, heart-pumping action!!! white water rafing and trekking up the rocky slopes of the majestic mountain.. SWEET!!! then its back to spore for a short break where i will have to repack everything again and get ready for??? VIETNAM!!!! ahha..this holiday couldn't get any better than this man.. wow..my heart is getting pumped up from just thinking about it.

ENOUGH!!! i wanna partyee and get high on booze!!!

I wanna watch sunrise on the mountain with zhenhan kor kor!!!

I wanna go out and have fun with Karen, my lao po..bestie and SOOO many more!!!

I WANNA SPEND MORE TIME WITH BABY!!!

I WANNA ... I WANNA ..I WANNA...

be patient little one..we still have to wait...JUST TWO MORE DAYS!!! YAY!!! *jumping ard the room*

long waits drive me to insanity...

Loungy day...

just feel like lazing around...

listen to my music...nat king cole with Unforgettable, and l.o.v.e... ella fitzgerald with at last... renee olstead with What a difference a day makes... Billie Holiday with Come Rain or Shine...

sipping on my hot coffee..feeling the burning heat pinching my bare lips...

the gloomy grey skies, a perfect companion...

just fading into the moment... a world where my troubles are all miles away...

feelin' much better

oops..owe u guys this. Had the time today to make some alterations and upload the video of the dinner tt nite with my family at east coast..hehe.. watch it..its FARNIE!!!

oh.. anyway my god-dammed phone is working again!!! HURRAY!!!

first msg recieved: Don't forget that you're loved. Oh. By me.

Melvin

Oh.....so sweet. Thanks baby...

JUst my luck...

had a bad day today... down on luck...groanz.. its just one of those days when everything seems to be going AGAINST you..Yep, so here's my story.

First thing..decided to take a nap be4 continuing to mug coz my level of concentration had hit rock bottom by 1+ ....therefore i set the alarm on my handphone off at 5..hoping to get up to do some more last min revision. BUT alas!!! the stupid damm hp didn't go off..in fact..someone put it to snooze mode..Cldn't be me rite? since i was lyke miles away from the stupid phone... unless i slept walk of course...okie..nvm tt. Tht's just the beginning of all the bad luck..

Then..going to skool..i was kinda panic stricken since i didn't haf much preparation under my sleeve. To that, I admit that I've only got my bad habit of procrastination and lack of effort to blame reallie..*slappin' myself* Tried to make a call to baby before i entered the exam hall and guess wat?!?! my damm phone got short circuited or some sort!!! WTH!!! this incident only served to further fuel the desperation inside me....it was lyke a BIG BALL of FEAR forming inside..GOSH!!!..i cldn't breath... I mean..wat is the probability of a new phone suddenly failing on you...right be4 u enter the exam hall?!?! *bOo Hoo*....all i wanted to do is to call him...

entering into the hall..as usual..i was ALL THE WAY at the back..yeh..no complaints about tt. But worst thing was there was NO QUESTION PAPER on my table... lyke WTF.. how am i supposed to do a paper w/o questions?!?! DAMM those examiners... Thank goodness the guy behind me noticed in time and called for a paper. *phew*..kk..figured tt i was reallie off to a bad start. Needless to say..the paper was not too bad lar..but cld have been better... Somehow i was extremely tired during the paper..caught myself dozing off a few times throughout the 2.5 hrs long paper. DAMM IT! shld have taken more coffee... Was reallie stunned by the 4th qn..It looked totally alien..*bleah*.. a test of who has the best crapping skills. WAHAHA.
overall: SCREWED!!!

On my way home from skool, i bumped into xiangyun at the bus interchange. Goddammit..she made me SOOO jealous. her last paper was last fri..I wish tt were me. then i wldn't have to live with the tormenting task of having to prepare for another exam... (Psss..dun worrie lao po..i still love u..hehe..lets meet up to party another day orite! yay!)

Doesn't help tt my damm leg keeps acting pain..the stupid pain is even there when i walk.. I HATE IT!!! God pls give me a new pair of legs...

Later i found out tt i 'overcharged' my phone. fact is tt I left it overnight coz it was flat.... was quite shocked to hear tt explanation from the phone company. I mean..tts lyke utter nonsense!!! sony ericsson..BAH!!!

so now..i've resorted to staying home..je ne veux pas travailler...maybe tt wld prevent any more mishaps from happening..NOBODY COME CLOSE too..

oh yesh..thanks baby for coming over ytd. sure made my day. And i totally adore the High Society: music to watch girls by cd tt u got me. Its fantabulous!!! LURVE IT...(u guys shld go take a listen..its reallie good..*swooning*)

thx mummy for keepin me accompany in the morning though u were in a rush to get to work. Hope your boss understands tt u've got an insane daughter to take care of... *Hugz*

favourite things...

Haha..love this song!!! the materialistic version of 'favourite things'...cool!!!

Big Brovaz -- Favourite Things

Buy me diamonds and rubies

I'm crazy bout Bentley's

Gucci dresses and drop top kompressors

Wine me and dine me

Bring those platinum rings

Those are a few of our favourite things

What I need is a gentleman

Who does the best he can

There to hold my hand

I want him to understand

Of course I want diamonds and expensive things

Cos a girl gotta have her favourite things

Buy me diamonds and rubies

I'm crazy bout Bentley's

Gucci dresses and drop top kompressors

Wine me and dine me

Bring those platinum rings

Those are a few of our favourite things

I would like a man who

Takes care of business

And still have the time to take me on a shopping spree

What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine

With what we have let's put it together and we can shine

Let me tell you about D, its all about

Simplicity, easy to please

But I like expensive things

For me you can buy diamonds and pearls

Just some of the little things I like in my world

Buy me diamonds and rubies

I'm crazy bout Bentley's

Gucci dresses and drop top kompressors

Wine me and dine me

Bring those platinum rings

Those are a few of our favourite things

Psss..dun worrie..i'm nothing lyke tt. Its not ALL about the money. But i cannot deny the fact that sometimes it is a major pull factor or incentive in many situations... Though we often say tt money cannot buy happiness, but if u realise..almost everything in the world..be it activites or things, involve a cost. The talk about money is unavoidable... just inevitable. Imagine how much more things you can achieve with a substantial amount of cash or investments to fall back on...

Bah..Still, I say being rich is not everything...*eyeing the tour package to seychelles tt totals up to a sum of ard 2k*. HEHE...

pre-celebration part one

yet another paper over..*phew* ... haha..as taught in 'are you ok'..in order to handle stress..hehe i decided to "REWARD" myself..don't knoe whether i deserve it though..but heck..hehe..

yeh... so the rest of the day was spent with my honey..and of course my dearest family!!! hehe..wat a fulfilling day..

First stop. marina sq to do a little shopping..then it was off to suntec for lunch!!! Fish and Co. the poor little waiter there had a minor slip up. and when i say minor..its reallie minor... the mint sweets meant for us at the end of the meal slipped from his hands onto the chair whilst baby was settling the bill. But since he was new on the job.. guess he took it quite badly..u shld have seen his face cinch up when he made the mistake..it was as though he was going to give himself a tight slap.. poor thing..So there i was trying to 'comfort' him... "it's ok...*BIG smile*"

then..off we went to suntec convention halls to collect our race packs for the stan chart marathon which i forgot to mention about is next SUN!!! gosh..i'm so dead..haven't been training.. *Bleah*

watched 'Happy feet' the movie too!

wasn't too great a show..despite its star-studded voice cast. But i must agree tt the show is definitely a good show for kids... it teaches many life lessons..the most obvious one being tt uniqueness and having a special characteristic or ability is indeed a wonderful thing and should not be deemed as 'weird' or abnormal by others. Sometimes these special abilities can lead to positive incomes and offer us a new lease on life.

It was a good way to open up our minds to the vastness of the world out there and to the fact tt a little determination goes a lonnnnnggggggggg way.

then it was *zoom* to east coast for wat else but...SEAFOOD!!! haha.. everyone was in a joyous mood..figures becoz our whole family hasn't been out together for a decent meal in a long long long long time..and guess just being in the presence of each other's company was enough to bring a smile to everyone's faces...food was good though i was still a little full from my late lunch. Oh yes..my parents opened a bottle of white wine which was good but not fruity enough for my taste... Had to help them a little though as my mummy was getting a bit high on wine. Hehe..silly mummy! as usual Kor was having fun wit his food..being a noobie at eaing crabs..guess he made a mess out of it and needless to say..wasted a whole lot of flesh!!! then, it was straight back home after dinner...Don't worry..my parents didn't drive back..my bro did. HAHA. yep..as the policeman wld say.."IF YOU DRINK, DON'T DRIVE!"

Chilli CrabKor battles with the crabs...

mummy gets high on wine...

u shld have heard mummy crooning to 'can't take my eyes off you' in the car..it was hilarious..hehe. Guess everybody needs a break in a while...

Finally it was off to o bar for some chillin' out and boogie-ing the nite away..wee...had a blast.. but for now..its FULL STEAM AHEAD for monday's paper....GO GO GO!

flabbergasted!!!

SHIT....I'm seriously screwed this time..my circuits paper is in 2 hrs time i juz realise i knoe nuts about it! ARGH...i'm gonna need a miracle of GARGANTUAN proportions this time around...

is it me?

Stacie Orrico - Is It Me Lyrics

Tryin to analyze every angle, situation

Tryin to find an explanation

Cause it's gettin aggrivating

Why my relationships never seem to work out

Beginnin' to worry and doubt

If I'm even able to detect he's the one

When this day you're wonderin

Why I havent seen the sun

Shine his light on my heart and help me ease the pain

Cause I'm gettin tired of the rain

Fallin on my heartbreak and I

Get my hopes up when I'm in love

Until we break up then I'm back to the

Same spot, I've been lonely, drownin

Cause every guy turns out to be the same

So now I'm questionin' is it me to blame

[CHORUS:] Is It Me? am I so complicated?

Is It Me? or is love over-rated?

Is It Me? cause I dont quite understand

Why it never turns out how I thought I planned it

Is It Me? am I too independent?

Is It Me? not ready for commitment?

Is It Me? cause it doesnt seem to last

And it's the only question that I never asked

Maybe I'm longin' for it more than I should be expecting

All the standards that I'm settin

Unrealistically I'm gettin

Possibly in the way of what is left to have in store

Because I'm so confused and insecure

Cause when i know for certain everything is goin wrong

I permitted to prolong

Tried my best to hold on

My Mister Right's probably hangin round my window pane

While I look through only watchin the rain

Fallin on my heartbreak and I

Get my hopes up when I'm in love

Until we break up then I'm back to the

Same spot, I've been lonely, drownin

Cause every guy turns out to be the same

So now I'm questionin' is it me to blame

[CHORUS]

Never thought it could be that its me

Till i realized I`m the only

Common factor and played a big part

In lettin people break my heart

Never noticin' I was wasting time

Askin the same thing every time

Who were you with? and where were you at?

Until I took the time to turn and look back

i see a teeny bit of hope.

I guess after all tt endless mugging and cramming of knowledge into one's head. Its inevitable tt one may become disorientated. For me, its an endless strive to get better grades, to pull up tt gpa, to finish more questions. But in the end, does it reallie matter? Will we be putting our knowledge regarding fluid mechanics, economics or even MOM to use in future. Or will it just be discarded and left to disintegrate into a forgotten thing of the past?

One thing tt i'm not so satisfied with is the form of education here in Singapore and i dare say, specifically NTU. semester after semester, students are forced to complete certain modules that would ultimately contribute to a degree. However the missing link is the fact that the nature of the module and how it may impact us in future was never revealed to us. The school never had the intention to even offer a simple explanation of how this knowledge would prove benficial to our careers in future. As a result, students are left struggling with the contents of the subject aimlessy.

They study, they sit for the exams..then the holidays come, they play and they forget. Then the new semester starts and the cycle starts all over again.

Its just so monotonous and meaningless... I'm beginning to see no point in studying anymore..Guess i'm not much study material..*bleah*

Anyway daddy passed me this article he saw in the newspaper..Thanks daddy...

"Passion gives his career wings"-- Canadian Bruce Peddle, the regional boss of jet maker Embraer tells of how he turned his love of planes into a career.

Gosh! yet another plane loving person tt made it big in the aviation scene. *jealous*..in some way, he's a bit lyke me though. Not being able to become a pilot and resorting to taking up an engineering degree just to get closer to planes. Sounds rather familiar..he got a job maintaining helicopters for a major Canadian helicopter company. wow..haha..i remember the first time i had the wonderful opportunity of riding in the super puma back in my army days..i knew from then on that helicopters were my love...i swore i just drooled looking at that sweet thang...

Anyway back to the main man Bruce Peddle. yeh..i guess i wld reallie love walking down the same path as him..working in maintenance for a few years before switching over to management roles in aviation upon accquiring his certified management accountant qualification.

Oh yesh..and here's the sentence in the paper tt sorta made me see the teeny bt of hope... " For young pple interested in joining aviation, he says that an engineering background is desirable. The aviation industry's workforce is extremely technical, and it is a highly regulated industry; a slew of qualifications is require to operate and maintain a plane" Heard tt aero pple?!?! wee hee..we're in for something GOOD! haha..So lets get cracking pple and do the pioneer batch of aerospace students proud. *cheers*

family potrait(s)...

Taken using my new phone!!! hehe..in cartoon mode..rather weird i wld say. Haha. Oh yesh..forgotten to mention tt i choose the w850i in the end. IT ROCKZ i tell u..haha..has every form and function to meet my need. ME!!! the super picky gurl..hehe..this phone has got to be something huh?

Me and my 'little brother'..woops..he's half naked..GOsh..*giggle*

Me and sleep-eyed Kor..hehe..stupid boi went off and play dota the whole nite..NO WONDER SO SLEEPY LAR!!! hehe..

and last but least..hehe..

my exhausted mummy napping away..WOOPSY! doesn't she look sweet in her sleep? unlike the ferocious tigress tt she is when she's awake. heh.

almost halfway done...

BURN ALL THE NOTES!!! french ..are u OK? ..and MOM and of course if i get through today..there wld be fluid mechanics added to this list. Heh.. btw..we're almost halfway through!!! *phew*... ~jiayou everyone!!!

Had an early nite coz i wasn't feeling particularly well... it did me good i think. Felt refreshed in the morning. Ready to tackle the most monstrous of papers *Cross my fingers* (oh pls dun be too tough on me..i beg of u..) Yeh..

Been feeling rather stressed out lately..perhaps its because i feel that i am inadequately prepared for all my subjects this semester. Its kinda sucky feeling that u won't be able to do well..haha. OH well..lets just dump all those silly ideals of mine into the trash bin... and of course i had better stop it already. GOtta get myself psyched up for today's paper which is just a little more then an hour away!!! ARGH!...come on gif me a smile..*ting*

John 15:5 - " I am the vine, ye are the branches; He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit; for without me ye cannot do nothing."

I'm sick..does anyone even care..

a wretched feeling inside of me. The cold wind grips me like a vice, pinching my skin. I shudder...

Where are you? i search my soul..but i can't find u.

I just wanna cry.

self mutterings...

God..i wish i cld be out there in the cold now..

STOP IT!!! argh..get a grip of yourself...u're strong..

*shakes head*

no i'm not.

I've been down so low

People look at me and they know

They can tell something is wrong

Like I don't belong

Staring through a window

Standing outside, they're just too happy to care tonight

I want to be like them

But I'll mess it up again

I tripped on my way in

And got kicked outside, everybody saw...

And I know that it's a wonderful world

But I can't feel it right now

Well I thought that I was doing well

But I just want to cry now

Well I know that it's a wonderful world

From the sky down to the sea

But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

Sometimes I feel so full of love

It just comes spilling out

It's uncomfortable to see

I give it away so easily

But if I had someone

I would do anything

I'd never, never, ever let you feel alone

I won't I won't leave you, on your own

But who am I to dream?

Dreams are for fools, they let you down...

And I know that it's a wonderful world

But I can't feel it right now

Well I thought that I was doing well

But I just want to cry now

Well I know that it's a wonderful world

From the sky down to the sea

But I can only see it when you're here, here with me

And I know that it's a wonderful world

When you're with me

Wonderful world -- James Morrison

Guess who's back?!?

KOR'S BACK! tee hee..i wld have to say its both a good and bad thing. Good thing being tt kor wld act as a distraction for mum meaning tt i wldn't get scolded so much by her anymore..hehe. YAY! HALE to kor kor..Hmph..but on the downside..it wld mean more abuse..*SOb*..kk..kidding. Heh. Its called brother and sister love..yeh..(cross fingers behind back)..orite..enough of the crap.. truth is I had missed u while u were gone Kor..glad u're back amongst us again...

Oh, and have i forgotten to mention..Kor brought back Krispy Kreme's doughnuts all the way back for us!!! Tres tres bien! Je suis contente...hehe.Just a 8 seconds in the microwave and *POOF*..its lyke magic!!! Kk, enough said let the pictures do the talking... ( WARNING: contents may be saliva-inducing so pls withhold from drooling over the keyboard...)

Anyway the weather's been kinda strange recently. Imagine the sky..overcast, heavy with a blanket of thick menacing clouds..thunder raging its fury overhead..lyke a battle going on in the heavens. Then the next moment with the snap the fingers..there is peace.. total serenity.. completed with whimpsical clouds floating aloft. A few larks flying overhead would have made it all picture perfect...

Scary, how the unpredictable the weather can be... strangely similar to the storm brewing inside of me..except tt i see no blue skies in the end...

Found this...

A short clip tt i made for my mom. I made it one night when I was very pissed at her...so instead of the usual letters of apologies tt i'll write and leave on the table for her to read in the morning. I decided to do this instead... mummy, I LOVE YOU!

Enjoy...

oh yeh..she teared after she watched it..

toujours pensant à vous...

Joy Enriquez -- How Can I Not Love You Lyrics

Cannot touch
Cannot hold
Cannot be together

Cannot love
Cannot kiss
Cannot have each other

Must be strong,
And we must let go
Cannot say
What our hearts must know
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms

How does one waltz away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

Cannot dream
Cannot share
Sweet and tender moments

Cannot feel
How we feel
Must pretend it's over

Must be brave,
And we must go on
Must not say,
What we've known all along

How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you
Here in my arms

How does one waltz away
From all the memories
How do I not miss you
When you are gone

Must be brave,
And we must be strong
Cannot say,
What we've known all along.

Celine Dion

Studying French... then i came across a Celine Dion song..wee hee

In case u guys didn't knoe, Celine Dion is Canadian born and bred...she first acheived success in francophone Canada, gaining recognition in Europe, before shifting her attention to anglophone music market where she then again prove to be a versatile and truely talented artiste. In fact..I must confess to being a fan of Celine in younger days..often insisting the volume be turned on in the car whenever her tracks came on and before you knoe it..i'll be crooning at the top of my lungs..(*gawd*... u must be cringing already.) Yeh..she has some reallie good tracks I must admit..like 'All by myself', 'Have you ever been in love', 'The prayer' and of course a personal favourite of mine 'Tell him'. hehe..

Anyway I stumbled upon one of her earlier tracks.. a French one of course...(i was 'supposedly' studying French remember?..hehe). So decided to give it a go at translating this one.

Pour Que Tu M'Aimes Encore

So that you will still like me

Fallait pas commencer m'attirer me toucher

Was it necessary to start to attract me, to touch me?

Fallait pas tant donner moi je sais pas jouer

Was it necessary to give me so much? When i know I can't play?

On me dit qu'aujourd'hui, on me dit que les autres font ainsi

I was told today, I was told that the others made thus.

Je ne suis pas les autres

I am not different from the rest.

Avant que l'on s'attache, avant que l'on se gâche

Before one gets too attached, before one gives oneself away. (wastes)

Je veux que tu saches

I want you to know that...

J'irai chercher ton cœur si tu l'emportes ailleurs

I will search for your heart even if you carry it elsewhere.

Même si dans tes danses d'autres dansent des heures

Even if it dances with others during your dance hours...

J'irai chercher ton âme dans les froids dans les flammes

I will seek your heart in the freezing cold, in the flames.

Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

I will throw in my everything so that you will still like me.

My God...wat a desperate woman ... *slaps forehead*

Its a friday!!!

woo hoo! still feeling the good spirit of the wkends, though we dun haf much to celebrate for. Tee hee..

To all the muggers out there wit ur noses buried in ya books! *looking up from ur books..* YEH you!!! all the best for the upcoming week. Its gonna be a mad rush but we'll pull thru! ~jiayou!!!!

to Mummy and Daddy: I WANNA GO TO SEYCHELLES ISLAND!!! (hope tt was discreet enough... heh)

ravings of a lunatic

Had a talk wit yongcheng yesterday. It started off as a normal conversation..just lyke any other day. Then he popped the qn. "Are you attached?".. I was bewildered. How did he find out? all this while, I was trying to hide it from him..i didn't want him to feel hurt. But guess it was only a matter of time before he found out..wats more tt me, melvin and yc were once all wingmates back in sierra. Guess it wld make matters worst. Then he asked the most essential question " is he Christian?"...
I choked back the tears..the past washing over me. it took me a long while but i managed to conjure an answer. "not yet but he's giving it a chance"
He told me he hadn't gotten over me after all this while. I didn't knoe wat to say...

Sometimes I wish tt I understood wat God had planned for us. Why does it seem lyke whenever my life is getting on to something good, it swings around and takes me on a totally different path..one with less prospects, more risks and more dangers lurking around the corner? Sometimes I feel so insecure. I've submitted to the ruling of the Lord..but deep down inside I wish for stability, a more provincial life.

Guess after all this ramblings, u pple out there are getting bored huh? I'm too just sick and tired of writing about how trapped i feel, controlled and manipulated by my sick and warped mind. I am trashed, stripped down to bare nakedness, so vulnerable... I don't want to feel this way. Seeking freedom, I crave for a moment when I can stop thinking altogther. ... but that wld be asking for the impossible.

I'm my worst enemy.

Please come now I think I'm falling
I'm holding on to all I think is safe
It seems I found the road to nowhere
And I'm trying to escape
I yelled back when I heard thunder
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Sad eyes follow me
But I still believe there's something left for me
So please come stay with me
'Cause I still believe there's something left for you and me
For you and me
For you and me

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking

All i want for my birthday is..WAH!!! so many things?!?!

HEHE..look at the date today! 16th Nov...meaning tt there's ONLY ONE MONTH LEFT TO MY 20th BIRTHDAY! (damm..i'm getting old)...geez..not lyke i made any fuss of my bdae for the past 19 years. But decided tt i shld at least voice out wat i want for my bdae..just for the fun of it. (*nudge nudge*)

kk..i'll get on with the list..wah..so exciting...

1) Stainless-Steel Digital Kitchen Scale

(for all the baking i'm going to have to be doing..and NO! i'm NOT going to bake myself a birthday cake..tts so pathetic!!!)

2) Rowenta Hair Dryer Lissima Ionic

luscious locks...ohhh...its a must have!

3)Suspenders

4)Cosmetics...(pour example, lipsticks, lip glosses, eye shadows..blah blah blah..anything but PERFUME!!!)

5)Baking books (nigella lawson, etc..)

6)Purple roxy bag...

(photo on the right -- pls excuse the non-sensical pose)

7) Biotherm facial products...

8)A nice BIG mug for coffee (hint: i love tigger!)

9) anything else tt u think i'll lyke (pretty vague i know..but basically i'll be just happie enough to recieve a present. tee hee.)

my room.

Good way to learn French: Describe your room. (learnt the hard way through french orals..Shucks...)

J'ai une etroit et petit chambre. Bien que ma chambre n'est pas large mais j'aime beaucoup. Quand vous entrez dans ma chambre, la premiere chose que vous voyez a gauche est la bibliotheque blanche en bois. Mon lit est derriere de bibliotheque. La couverture sur le lit est rose et est tres doux et confortable. Les fenetres sont a cote le lit, aussi, ma table est a droite de lit, donc, il y a assez lumineux pour mon travail. Il y a le bouquet dans le vase sur le table. J'aime bien les couleurs des fleurs parce que elles sont tres lumineuses, donc elles me rendent heuruex. Autre bibliotheque blanche est a cote le table. Il aide a stocker mes livres. En fin, il y a l'armoire a gauche dans une chambre et il stocker mes vetements, pour example, mes chemises, jupes, pantalons, chaussettes, etc... Les trois peintures sont sur l'armoire murs. Bien sur, je suis fatiguee deja. Alors, c'est tout.

1 down, 6 more to go... hold on...

1 down...still so many more to go..situation seems more bleak. *bleah* kudos to dearie for cheering me up.

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Himalayan tea latte rocks...love the cinnammon powder!!! Very flavour-some. Lyke taking a huge bite of warm apple pie, its filling oozing out from the sides..trickling down your lips to explode in your mouth! yummilicious. Makes me feel better EVERYTIME!!!

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Wasn't reallie in the mood for studying today right after the exams so I went to catch a movie. 'Step up' ==> pretty nifty moves in tt movie. pretty good-looking male and female leads. But otherwise a chick flick i must say. Personally I find the behaviour of the two leads very rash.. unbecoming ...haha. Always flaring up at each other for no good reason.

The cute lead..hehe..channing tatum..(check out his goofy ears!)... looks good enough to eat..Woops.

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Phones...SIgh. getting a new one. But can't decide on which one..got a few recommendations. though...

W850i and K800 (from left to right)

ppss...my baby has been doing a great job of promoting phones..even hitting on me. wahaha. hmph..yeh..anyway..they aren't bad..both got their pros and cons. One on the left, love its track id functions.. the one on the right however has a reallie solid camera function. Yoo hoo *waves hand* We're toking about 3.2mega pixels over here! haha... Choices..*bleah*..wish we cld do without them. Life would be that much easier...

D-Day.

Some photos before i face my death.. hehe..Orite..time to head for bed. *yawnz*..good nite world...

Superhero

Just for the fun of it...did a little quiz...

Which Movie Superhero are you?

You're Rogue from the X-Men movies

Lots of mutants appreciate their powers, but you'd give yours up in a second for a chance at a normal life. You're friendly and considerate, but you'd rather blend in with the crowd than stand out and get attention. Like Rogue, your sense of touch is extremely powerful, so even holding hands is a huge deal for you. You're deeply afraid of hurting the people you love, so you tend to push them away when things get too intense.

Hmph..I'm beginning to doubt this..haha.. but no harm trying it out huh?

Personality Quiz: Which Movie Superhero Are You?Feeling a little strange lately? Maybe it's because you're developing special powers.

Be my escape.

Slept a bit longer than i shld have today. Truthfully it wasn't becoz i was tired or anything, rather, i was using it as my source of entertainment. A satisfaction derieved from watching tv or playing computer games. Its amazing how I can wake up from my dreams feeling more accomplished than when i'm awake during the day. Having been to so many places, done so many things...I wake up with a smile on my face. Perhaps its because i've been cooped up in the house for too long... performing the mundane tasks of hitting the books every day. Deep down inside, my restless spirit longs for adventure, craves to be free. In my dreams, I can do whatever i want and be whoever I want to be. Run and not tire, swim through swamps and not feel filth and muck on your skin, stand at the top of the snowy peaks and not feel the deadly touch of cold on your body. But then again, what's living if your senses where not working?

I've been supressed for way too long. I need to break free. But that would have to wait. For now, let Dreams be my Reality...

He waits...

By the lonely empty street,
Pass the last in row of weak flickering street lamps,
He waits for someone.
Driven to desperation.
His mind has wondered far beyond any other,
To the ends of his worn-out soul,
But mysteriously winding up at the same dead end.
He ponders.
Stripping his heart down for answers that he himself cannot provide.
On a never-ending search for reasons beyond doubt.
His heart withers, strained, writhing from the heart ache.
The burning within, too much to take.
But he refuses to bow his head down,
Instead he finds comfort in the pain.

To choose regret over disappointment.
He would never adhere to.
Others tell him to give up, to let go.
But his stubborn soul refuses to let up.
They tell him that loving might be a mistake
We all make mistakes.
Do not let some hell-bent heart leave him bitter.
When one door closes, one more opens.
He doesn’t buy.
Standing alone, he allows the pain to wash over him.

She strips him down to nothingness.
The object of desire.
She grips his heart like a vice.
He chokes and gasps for air.
She stabs him,
He grabs her velvety hands in his.
The blood like a silky red ribbon trickling down.
He begs for acceptance.
The blade inches deeper into his flesh.
He grimaces in pain and looks into her eyes for the slightest bit of hope.
But there is none but a cold hard gaze.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of his mind.
Free him from tragedy that has engulfed his weary soul.
To see him smile, feel the warmth from deep within.
But now it seems so out of reach.
So I just watch from a distance,
Occasionally shining a beacon of light on him.
Watch as he fades away into the corners of his mind.
Lost in a world of thoughts…

Sihan

I love my little brother.

Just had a little tiff with my little brother. He accused me of talking behind his back..OH YEH?? hmph..kk, i shall not lower myself to such a level of immaturity. Childish quarrels and tantrums..i have long outgrown them. Or have I? *pondering*

For the benefit of my brother, the definition of spoiled - having the character or disposition harmed by pampering or oversolicitous attention; "a spoiled child". A perfect human specimen wld be none other than

.

.

.

.

HIM!!!

Name: Lee Weiquan a.k.a the little brother

Age: 18

Place of residence: the room next to mine

So back to the tiff we had. Basically he was unhappy about me calling him a spoilt brat. BUT HE IS!!! First he tried twisting the definition of 'spoiled' around to characterise me as one and then next he calls me a spoilt brat blatently across the dinner table. ARGH!!! he gets his way in every situation and even gets to sit at the head of the table even when my dad is ard. For what u may ask? so that he can get the clearest view of the television. What more can I say?! heh. I love my brother though..it's reallie fun quarrelling with him. Lost some steam in the process. heh.

today's creation:

Orite..Today is a Sunday. 3 more days to our first paper... the clock is ticking... back to the books.

oh my goodness!!!

look wat arrived in the mail today?

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA tickets!!!

Best seats in the house..on opening nite, plus its our special day!!! wat more cld i ask for?!?! oh my gosh..thank u mummy dearest *muackz*..going to watch it with baby... HURRAY... can't wait..

p.s. to all the poor souls out there who want to watch the musical but can't..hmph.. NEH NEH!!! I'M GOING TO WATCH THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!! muahaha...

we're the only ones that are around in this Babylon

Hey peeps...*groanz* ..feeling kinda tired..perhaps it becoz i had a GREAT time out ytd nite!!! (apart from the little incident tt happened..i'm okie. Hey gurl..try to chill k. Dun let anything bring u down..u're stronger than u think u are.) Yep. Initially got off to a bad start. My previous plans to check out Scarlet hotel's Breeze which for you information is a rooftop restaurant; was destroyed by my everchanging mood tt somehow struck a bad note sometime in the afternoon. Like the flip of a coin, my mood just morphed into something monstrous..attempting to devour me. Kind of like self-destruction mode power on. SoRrY baby for tt...make u put up with my horrendous mood swings..

Thank goodness i managed to drag my heavy ass out the door to meet my baby. Had a nice dinner complete with yummy, sweet and delectable tiramisu at 211 ( an Italian restautant at holland v). Sorry for the lack of pictures but i happened to rush out of home so i forgot to bring my camera along. Argh. Yep. so glad tt i chose to go out instead of rotting at home wit my ass stuck to the chair and my nose in a book, coz Melvin made me feel so much better... I smiled..never thought tt i wld for tt day. Hmph..in fact i think i smiled A LOT!!! WAHAHA.. after tt..we headed down to clarke quay. What for? of course to pay a little visit to our fav ATTICA!!! haha..it was great fun..talked a lot, drank and danced the nite away...hehe.

THE END

WAIT!!! i haven't completed my story yet!!!..yeh. had a good conversation with mummy this morning. Guess its true..I'm too emotional for my own good. when caught in a bad mood.. its as if the whole world has offended me. Its always better to leave me alone to self destruct. Haha. well said..guess mummy knoes me best.. heh.

psss...at least i'm better than a flat-liner..HEHE..*ouch!* dun beat me.... mummy said it!!!

excusez moi...

I'm very stressed!!!
ARRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

kk..feel much better now

Ciao

things i do when i'm bored.

Yeh...french oral was a disaster yesterday. Argh..lets not go into the details. Mais don't worry! i've already devised the perfect plan 2 help me learn my vocabulary efficiently! wah hah...

Oh yesh, as i mentioned before my knees are reallie hurting. Can feel the stabbing pain even when i'm sitting still. BUT tts not going to bring me down! nope... Baby says its just my imagination. But neh..i dun think so..i think i shld at least be in a clear state of mind to be able to tell real pain from 'imaginative' pain. Gosh. All thanks to mummy dear who help me stick on these chinese medicated strips..my knees feel rejuvenated after a nite's rest. Hehe. Also, under strict mummy doctor's orders, i will have to feed on this icky looking bottle of pills from gnc called triflex which contains glucosamine (reallie good for bones i heard.) Pray tt my legs recover in time for the marathon...

Blame it on my short attention span.. i was soooo BORED after a bit of studying and duh..feeling a little woozy from all the information. And i am sure tt many of you out there are familiar with the night time syndrome... nite times (only during exam periods) juz make u do the craziest thing. so this was wat i did...

HAHA...

tests..bah...

just survived another test..haha. Now the situation for this one was reallie farnie. Haha. okie..so i admit i was rather stoned when the paper was passed ard. just picture a big question mark above my head. "HUH???" hehe. at least i managed to get some questions done..the rest were just random guesses.. Woops. Yep.u shld have seen the commotion when the lecturer left the room. It was some sorta open discussion with people pinning their hopes on the answers of the 'smarter' ones although it was a clear sight tt almost EVERYBODY had a different answer. HAHA.

oh well, now i'm stuck in the library trying my best to conjure up a speech or at least a few lines for my french oral later. God the wait is long.... bah.. Yep. just hope i dun lyke totally embarass myself in there. PLEASE let me ears work for me! I recall the last oral for french 1 i couldn't even understand what the french teacher was asking me. *blushing* ARGH!!! Yep..so according to my paulie, we're supposed to tok about our daily affairs and STUFF?? haha and describe out last holiday? what??? *yawnz* i'm sleeping already. hehe

okayz...back to work...