gatherings..sharing.. laughs..disappointment

· Posted by Sihan at
met up wit my hockey gurlfrens ytd at xiangyun's hse for a cozy in house meal and chit-chat session. I enjoyed myself thoroughly.. and its reallie amazing how everyone changes with every gathering tt we have. It like a constant surprise everytime we meet. Our chit-chat session mainly revolved around who was attached to who and so forth... comparable to bitchin' but hey..haha..gurls gossip dun they. An observation that i made involved the evolution of bitchin' topics that we had. now its about bfs..in a few years it wld be about jobs... then another couple of years it wld about marriage... and family, children..etc.. Gosh..how quicky age catches up with us. Haha. Yep... we also gathered round the dining table to make our new year resolutions and to toast to them. It was pretty good fun. Mine was to be happier this year and to smile more. Hope that goes well for me...

My mango marshmellow cake went down pretty well with the gurls... thank goodness i did a fruit one coz our dear Regina gurl can't eat chocolatey stuff to the dismay of her complexion. Woops.

This morning..i woke up reallie early to take a jog...thought i needed some fresh air. It was wonderful to be able to sweat it out. Think my ankle is very much ahead in its road to recovery. I ran over to his hse... it felt good knowing tt i was so close. Silly me...

then i was reminded of the song from the musical i watched ytd. "on the street where you live."

I have often walked down this street before;
But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.
All at once am I Several stories high.
Knowing I'm on the street where you live.
Are there lilac trees in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live!
And oh! The towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near.
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear!
People stop and stare.
They don't bother me.
For there's no where else on earth that I would rather be.
Let the time go by,
I won't care if
I Can be here on the street where you live.

... the morning took a turn for the worst

*pardon me for my sudden outburst...and please excuse me if my thoughts come in short chains with hardly any linkage.. its the irrational mind at work*

rawr!!! why is it always about the two of you?!?! why can't both of u just look me in the eyes and see the sadness..the disappointment. Just stop talking for a second... stop the un-nerving noise! just for a moment..give me peace. Maybe its God's sign... I have to be wary... guard my vulnerable heart. I'm afraid to get it broken again. my life's a mess.

I need him so badly... I want to depend on him. I want to feel the rising urge to be with him, to feel his love and concern deep in my soul. To feel like i'm being watched over all the time. Why must lovin' be so hard when he loves me al that much. Why am I the selfish, fat, hateful bitch tt i am? Let me love you oh Lord.

for now I excuse my tired weary heart, lay my heavy head on the desk to rest. Find comfort from the pain...

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)