stimulating?
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Stimulating talk?today Babe confided in me. one comment that sent my thoughts on a whirlwind journey across the savannah of a mind; bare and stripped. He requested my help in stimulating his thought process and that I may converse with him in way that would invoke a series of detailed chain of thoughts that supposedly were beneficial for the analytical mind.
It lead me to think.. was i not good enough? I know its a bit far fetched. But somehow, perhaps he found our conversations, not thought-provoking enough? Or maybe even silly at times? Daily mundane conversations that become a manner of life, like a ritual or even custom that we in turn take forgranted?
Worst still, my thoughts lingered on and soon touched my raw inferiority nature. Was it because I didn't talk about stocks, or shares nor equities or bonds? Or was it because I never discuss current affairs and politics with him? Truth is, we hardly talk at all...
why so? easy.. you know how the world is made of those born to speak and those whom are good listeners? Well, coincidentally, we are both listeners. Hence, more often than not, we sit in silence waiting for the other party to say something. I agree it may be non-intellectual at times, but how do you expect me to converse when i have nothing to talk about? If you're talking about rantings and complaints, i keep those to myself. Gossiping, neh, i often get the facts wrong. So basically its not uncommon to find my without a word to utter, not even mutter under my breath. And it ain't my fault...
I'm at loss.. could this be my hurdle? could i lose out to someone else in the future just because i wasn't a good conversationalist? That's a scary thought to harbor.
Yet admist this hurricane of thoughts. My love for this man who stands before me still flourishes. He is my breath of fresh air, my life support in the fiercest storm and my punching bag when times get rough (regrettably). I'm so glad to have you in my life.
When I looked at you
My heart already knew
You had come to breathe life into my dormant soul
I was terrified
I'm not afraid anymore
Cause I know that you
Embrace my heart and I feel alive
still falling in love with you everyday of my life,
Sihan
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