je ne veux pas travailler
after catching 3 hrs of slp on sat night, i had to get up at 3 to send my kor to the budget terminal to catch his flight to chiangmai.. Gosh... feeling envious of his carefree lifestyle now. Its as if he can go anywhere he wants to... no fair!!! yeh.. Thank goodness for baby who accompanied me on the car trip if not i wld have surely got caught by the TP for speeding. Oops.. Heh. after getting home at 5, I decided tt it wasn't worthwhile going back to bed again so I did an insane thing. Changed into my running gear and headed out to the wet and quiet streets for a run. Hearing the pitter-patter of the raindrops and the slooshing sound of the tyres as they make their way thru the puddles certainly incalculate a sense of peace in me. I was calm and apeased with the world.
Got back home just in time to shower and change up for church. then it was followed by a quick trip to the salon for a trim. (which obviously didn't work out coz my mum says my hair resembles a broom now).. ARGH.. made a quick stop over at balmoral to get some pastries and the lovely marble cake. Some for mummy and some for Melvin. Hehe. Glad he liked the beef curry puff. Its famous!!! hehe.
The rest of my afternoon was taken away by the need to carry out the reece at bukit timah hill. Good slooshy, muddy fun.. haha
I GOT IT!!!
EM107
Too bad..i ain't got much of a choice. Couldn't get my first choice BS803..unlike some lucky folks..*nudge*..RAWR.. so i have to settle for second best..hmph..or wat seemed like second best to me. Point is I just wanna clear all my electives by this semester and I've only got one GE left to fulfill!!! HURRAY!!! so EM107 it is then...
Attended my first lecture for the module today. It was ok... the lecturer was rather long-winded though. he cld go on and on about the definition of 'Safety' for at least 10 mins. My goodness... its just a simple word for god's sake. But other then tt, I found the lecture rather interesting..refreshing in a sense, like a break from the usual physics and aero stuff that we take everyday. Well, at least I didn't feel like slping halfway thru the insanely long 3 hours lecture. Kudos to me! tee hee...
Most interesting part of the lecture wld have to be about electrical safety. was reminded of my near death experience on top of Tahan last summer. Found out that human skin when dry has a resistance of 0.1 - 0.6 mega-ohms but is reduced to a meagre 1000 ohms when it is wet..making us very likely conductors (especially in the case of lightning strikes). In the notes there was a scale of the different magnitudes of current and the effects of the electrical current on the body. Think what i suffered during the incident was a current of 50-150mA but in the lower range though. Its effects: extremely painful shock, respiratory arrest(breathing stops), severe muscle contraction. Flexor muscles may cause holding on; extensor muscles may cause intense pushing away. Death is possible. Thank God i lived on...
Recalling the fateful night, my heart is full of fear and i feel it pulsating through my chest. Having turned in early that night, the team had already settled in to rest in our tents in preparation for the tough climb the next day. Torrential rain was experienced two days in a row and as a result the rocky camping ground was soaking wet. It was a pretty pitiful sight, staring at a ground filled with pools of water. Slping was an entirely grotesque experience as the floor was immensely wet and the tent did nothing to protect us against the chill and the cold. But slowly, even the most restless of the bunch fell into gentle slumber after some time, probably due to the exertion of having scaled and descended the summit the day before. That night, we camped on high grounds, on the ridge of the magnificant mountain, exposed to strong winds that tore at the tent and shook it furiously, never did we realise that slping on such exposed grounds with a floor as wet as a swimming pool would prove lethal... It was a rainy night, lightning flashes frequently lighted the sky overhead and thunder rumbled nonstop... Aware of the situation outside, i shifted constanly in my sleep, feeling cold and miserable. Suddenly, I saw a bright flash of light before me, and almost immediately, my body jerked up into a sitting position. At that moment, it felt like ALL the muscles in my body had contracted involuntarily. I couldn't breathe, had no control of my muscles..pain wreathed through my entire body... In my mind, I was strike with the immediate fear of death, I struggled to gain control. I saw my mom calling out to me. So this is what it feels like to die. the pain was excrutiating, my jaw dropped and I screamed out..but nothing came out from my throat. A silent scream... My world was just a piece of bright mozaic and a high pitch buzzing sound in my ear.. It seemed like ages before my body slumped down on the tent floor, exhausted from the exhertion. I was fatigued... feeling bruised and battered... I struggling to breath, my chest hurt and my throat was parched. Thank goodness i was still in good mental shape and figured out that we got struck by lightning... a one in a million case... Then, I was paralysed from waist down as I was not able to feel both my legs and worst still not able to control any of the muscles. The tent was filled with a burnt smell, my worst fears played in my head. ' what if my legs were terribly burnt..and i can't walk forever?'... I panicked.. thank goodness after shining the torch light on them, they were perfectly fine except for a burn mark on my ankle due to the current passing through. It took a million years before i gained composure of my legs again and I was able to move my toes. The next day, I found out that I was screaming throughout the whole incident. gosh. Thank God that I survived the incident.. not many pple live through a lightning strike to be able to tell the tale of it. It must be God's grace...
But even as trekking has almost cost me my life, I never gave up on it. Its something that i enjoy doing. Pushing myself, challenging my limits, the physical and mental exhertion, play a huge part in helping me realise who am I and what i'm capable of. I will never stop climbing...
a picture taken after the fateful night at gedung.
what is love?
Why do pple love? Can the world exist in perfect harmony without love? would there be hate in this world if there was no love? wldn't everyone just exist in a simple state of motion if we didn't practise a certain judgement or favouritism, to love someone over another or to hate another?
Can love ever be like in the scriptures, patient, kind, does not envy, and does not boast?
In my opinion, tt is highly impossible. Love is far from perfect... then again, love exist on different levels. Love for the boyfriend/girlfriend, love for a friend, love for your family and love for the almighty God. All these are entirely different and manifest themselves in different ways thru different acts and methods of demonstration. On the contrary, perhaps its all very subjective. For me, Love in these 4 context do have major differences but are all parts of each other, the latter being the greatest of them all.
Love for a boyfriend/ girlfriend equals to admiration, willingness to devote time and emotions to a relationship. To long to be together, to feel a strange longing to never part. As naive and childish as it sounds...true love btw a man and a woman requires some aspect of sparks, 'sweeping you off your feet' kinda romance, and foolish acts. Its all part and parcel of it all, of which, lacking these would only lead to something dull and drab. Not my kind of romance story.
As i was listening to the song truly, madly, deeply this morning "I want to stand with you on a mountain I want to bathe with you in the sea I want to lay like this forever Until the sky falls down on me", I came to a realisation tt despite how silly it sounds, that is exactly wat i wanted to do. To be with the one I love, just to feel his presence in all the right moments, to capture the moment of bliss in my head. Like a perfect moment caught in a frame, to be stored in the depths of my heart forever. That is what is like to fall in love.
Love for friends on the other hand is very different. Lets state the basic difference, there is little or hardly any physical contact to speak of, unless u're toking about the fights or mini boxing matches frens often get into. But besides that, there is no need to touch, to feel, however if there is, then u had better be cautious. Hehe. Here, love within friends is more about concern and care. To watch for each others back in all situations, to stand up for friends. On the whole, we're talking more about loyalty. But then again, like looking for the perfect partner, looking for a good friend is also a tough task on its on. Putting common accquaintances aside, a good friend usually someone who either has common goals, idealogy or someone who is willing to share the burden of working towards ur goals with you. As they say, accquaintances are easy to make but good friends take years to find. In this selfish and conceited world that we love in, simply having to be there for someone and having to bear the brunt of the sufferings of another is rarely on the top of the to-do list of many. Therefore, it is difficult to find a good friend. For me, a good friend is someone whom i can enjoy time spent with him/her, to feel relaxed and chilled. To enjoy the unawkward silence btw the both of us, just to sit and watch the world go by.
For the family, It is a very different story altogether. Since young, the concept of love was instilled into us at the youngest age. Remember when our mommies used to tease and ask us " do u love mommy?". It was evident to us that the mandatory correct answer would have to be yes. Though we didn't understand the meaning of love, we understood that being cared for and doted upon by our parents called for the need to display affection and love back to our parents. As though love was a present tt we have to return back to whoever showered it upon us. Recall how difficult it was for our parents to teach us to love our obnoxious brothers/sisters whom tend to bully and kick us around. despite this, as we grow older, we come to a realisation tt family are the closest people we have ard and that after the many years of living in the same vicinity in close contact, sharing childhood memories; we have come to love the 'strangers' living under the same roof as us. Our siblings, our parents, our family.
lAstly, love for our almighty God is undoubtly the greatest of them all. To be able to accept and return the love of an invicible being is never easy. the invicible being being a character with powers beyond our wildest imagination, a God with the ability to crush enemies to bits, yet with the heart as soft as silk, one that allows him to love even the most vicious of man; to love his enemies and even those who have persecuted him, tortured him. That character is our Lord and almighty God. The definition of love of the concept of love wld not even be clear to us if he never did demonstrated it to us in the first place. He has liberated us.... We love because he first loved us.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. (1 Corinthians 13:1-8)
似曾相识
那一瞥 人潮如海的街
和你擦身而过 有些恍神一再回头
她发现 我的心不在焉
我却无法解释是谁 乱了我生活
该怎么做才能把回忆都删除 那错过的幸福 我像跌入迷雾
遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉 Woo
仿佛有同样感受在你眼底 Woo
能不能让我们再相遇 能不能让我再次认识你 似曾相识有如游戏
Wu~ 似曾相识 Yeah Yeah Yeah~
那一瞥 陷入你的世界
和你擦身而过 却忘了要往哪里走 (要往哪里走)
她感觉 我的心看不见
我该怎么解释是你 乱了我生活
该怎么做 (该怎么做) 才能把回忆都删除
那错过的幸福 我像跌入迷雾 Woo Woo-Oh
遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉 Woo
我看见同样的感受在你眼底 Woo~
能不能让我们再相遇 能不能让我再次认识你 似曾相识有如游戏
遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉 Woo
是否在前世我们有一段过去 Woo
能不能这次改变命运 能不能这次让我真的爱你 还是往事别再提起 Yeah Yeah
Woo~ Wu Woo Woo~ Ma MaMa Ma MaMa~
似 曾 相 识 似曾相识 Woo Woo Ho~ Ha Wu-Woo~ Yeah-Yeah-Yeah~ Woo~
遇见你有种似曾相识的感觉 Oh~
是否在前世我们有一段过去 (我们有)
能不能帮我把你忘记 能不能帮我停下对你追寻
或许我能不再想你
遇见你有种似曾
见你有种似曾 相识的 感觉
evil, backstabbing world
oh yesh.. I wanna make a shout-out to my fren!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY going out to ZHIHENG!!!
two years back.. we were in the same section back at sierra. Remember him as the macho, garang guy who ALWAYS want to carry everything.. crazy fella. Used to love to squeeze him as we marched down the corridors. Hehe. Then..we became 'clubbing kakis'...those were the crazy days back in the holidays. Had so much fun didn't we? doing insane stuff in a drunken stupor. hehe. Guess we have both grown out of it. Hehe. Anyway.. glad tt my fren is doing well in nus. Take care dear and study hard!!!
teach me tonight
been listening to this song on repeat mode. Teach me tonight by Elliot Yamin, a contestant off AMerican Idol. Can't remember which season though. But he rocks yar!!! he's voice is soooo smooth. Like velvet.. Gosh..
Did you say (that) I've got a lot to learn
Well don't think I'm trying not to learn
Since this is the perfect spot to learn
Teach me tonight
Starting with the abc of it
Getting right down to the xyz of it
Help me solve the mystery of it
Teach me tonight
The sky's a blackboard high above you
And if a shooting star goes by
I'll use that star to write 'i love you'
A thousand times across the sky
One thing isn't very clear my love
Teachers shouldn't stand so near my love
Graduation's almost here my love
You'd better teach me tonight
I've played loves scenes in a flick or two
And I've also met a chick or two
But I still can learn a trick or two
Hey teach me tonight
I who thought I knew the score of it
Kind of think I should know much more of it
Off the wall, the bed, the floor of it
Hey teach me tonight
The midnight hours come slowly creeping
When there's no one there but you
There must be more to life than sleeping
Single in a bed for two
What I need most is post graduate
What I feel is hard to articulate
If you want me to matriculate
You'd better teach me tonight
What do you get for lessons
Teach me - come on and teach me - teach me tonight
cheeky..i like..
teach me tonight
been listening to this song on repeat mode. Teach me tonight by Elliot Yamin, a contestant off AMerican Idol. Can't remember which season though. But he rocks yar!!! he's voice is soooo smooth. Like velvet.. Gosh..
Did you say (that) I've got a lot to learn
Well don't think I'm trying not to learn
Since this is the perfect spot to learn
Teach me tonight
Starting with the abc of it
Getting right down to the xyz of it
Help me solve the mystery of it
Teach me tonight
The sky's a blackboard high above you
And if a shooting star goes by
I'll use that star to write 'i love you'
A thousand times across the sky
One thing isn't very clear my love
Teachers shouldn't stand so near my love
Graduation's almost here my love
You'd better teach me tonight
I've played loves scenes in a flick or two
And I've also met a chick or two
But I still can learn a trick or two
Hey teach me tonight
I who thought I knew the score of it
Kind of think I should know much more of it
Off the wall, the bed, the floor of it
Hey teach me tonight
The midnight hours come slowly creeping
When there's no one there but you
There must be more to life than sleeping
Single in a bed for two
What I need most is post graduate
What I feel is hard to articulate
If you want me to matriculate
You'd better teach me tonight
What do you get for lessons
Teach me - come on and teach me - teach me tonight
cheeky..i like..
self-centred me.
In the midst of all my self-centred acts and behaviour, i have scarred the hearts of many who have tried to help me. Usually i walk off blindly, ignorant of the damage i've inflicted on the them. But sometimes, i admit, I turn my back knowing tt i've hurt someone. Strangely, my conscience doesn't get to me...its as though years of practising the same act has hardened my heart to stone. I'm a bitch...
Sometimes i wish i cld love so much.. give my heart willingly.. all of it. Do anything and everything for tt special someone. To love lyke i'll never love the same way again. But to me..it's an impossible affair. Somehow, my heart holds part of itself back. It refuses to stand on the line..refuses to take chances, tt otherwise, if took a turn for the worst, wld send it smashing to the ground into a million pieces.
Perhaps its just me. I'm spoilt, pampered...
Oh, please teach me to love unconditionally...
the smell of cinnamon
so wats baking in tt trusty little oven of mine? lets take a look...*follow me*
Oh gosh..just read this online.."Not only does consuming cinnamon improve the body's ability to utilize blood sugar, but just smelling the wonderful odor of this sweet spice boosts brain activity! "... Take that!!! Cinammon scent enhances brain activity.. Gosh..gotta sniff more then. Bye...
photo updates...
gatherings..sharing.. laughs..disappointment
My mango marshmellow cake went down pretty well with the gurls... thank goodness i did a fruit one coz our dear Regina gurl can't eat chocolatey stuff to the dismay of her complexion. Woops.
This morning..i woke up reallie early to take a jog...thought i needed some fresh air. It was wonderful to be able to sweat it out. Think my ankle is very much ahead in its road to recovery. I ran over to his hse... it felt good knowing tt i was so close. Silly me...
then i was reminded of the song from the musical i watched ytd. "on the street where you live."
I have often walked down this street before;
But the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.
All at once am I Several stories high.
Knowing I'm on the street where you live.
Are there lilac trees in the heart of town?
Can you hear a lark in any other part of town?
Does enchantment pour Out of ev'ry door?
No, it's just on the street where you live!
And oh! The towering feeling
Just to know somehow you are near.
The overpowering feeling
That any second you may suddenly appear!
People stop and stare.
They don't bother me.
For there's no where else on earth that I would rather be.
Let the time go by,
I won't care if
I Can be here on the street where you live.
... the morning took a turn for the worst
*pardon me for my sudden outburst...and please excuse me if my thoughts come in short chains with hardly any linkage.. its the irrational mind at work*
rawr!!! why is it always about the two of you?!?! why can't both of u just look me in the eyes and see the sadness..the disappointment. Just stop talking for a second... stop the un-nerving noise! just for a moment..give me peace. Maybe its God's sign... I have to be wary... guard my vulnerable heart. I'm afraid to get it broken again. my life's a mess.
I need him so badly... I want to depend on him. I want to feel the rising urge to be with him, to feel his love and concern deep in my soul. To feel like i'm being watched over all the time. Why must lovin' be so hard when he loves me al that much. Why am I the selfish, fat, hateful bitch tt i am? Let me love you oh Lord.
for now I excuse my tired weary heart, lay my heavy head on the desk to rest. Find comfort from the pain...
baking galore...
The aftermath of my crazy half-hour shopping spree wasn't so pretty after that. I found myself lugging approximately 7kg of goods back home. Bah... Gurls..when will they ever learn to stop. Heh.
So I proceeded to use the quiet afternoon to attempt baking cookies. I chose Chocolate Chip and peanut butter surprise cookies. Perfect by me as I'm a big fan of both chocolate and peanut butter. Yums.. It wasn't long before the kitchen was filled with the smell of freshly made batter in the oven.. I cldn't wait.
TADA!!! these cookies may seem like simple chocolate chip cookies but actually there's a mini twist to it. Inside there, a surprise lays waiting to be discovered... peanut butter!!! yummy..hehe. Kor said its nice and even compared it to his favourite cookies from mrs fields. Yay...an achievement for me. (it was quite good by my church frens standards... I made mummy bring a jar to church for their tasting. Heh..church aunties are tough critiques okie. Hah)
Whats more was I planned to bake another cake. A mango marshmellow cake, from a recipe that caught my eye off this blog. Hope it turns out well...coz I reallie want something to bring to my hockey gurl frens gathering today! *cross fingers* Promise to show u more pics when its ready.
Gotta get ready to go out soon. Going to catch the matinee show for ' my fair lady' the musical later at the esplanade. not so enthusiastic about it though. My throat is killing me and my nose won't stop running...
one day i'll fly away...
my heart is filled with a heavy downpour even as the glorified sun shines outside. A storm brews, confusion, befuddlement, a teardrop...
" For by and by the mist will lift,
and plain it all He'll make:
Through all the way, tho' dark to me,
He made not one mistake."
the anti-social one...
oh yesh, owe u pple this as well. this is a MUST-WATCH!!! A video of a poor piggy struggling at a local market in Vietnam. Please turn up the volume for maximum effect... Hehe.
Sometimes I wonder whats wrong wit me... often i'm hit with the strong urge to steer clear of the whole world. To submerge myself in a world where only I exist... I guess its normal for pple to want time to themselves but it gets a bit creepy when u realise tt this feeling strikes you ALL THE TIME! I mean..i avoid meeting wit people. Shun appointments, dates, etc... coz I just want to be by myself. Its scary up to the point that stepping out of the house seems like a dreadful event altogether. I'm put off by this strange habit and mine. Is it becoz i'm some sort of hermit tt basically does not enjoy mingling wit pple. Perhaps I lack the social skills required to survive in this boot-licking world. But after analyzing the situation, I came to a conclusion tt that is not nearly possible and even so, is definitely not the main reason. So why then do I feel this way? Strange...
So once again, I'm home on a nice holiday-day. Bored but happy. Kinda sad life i have here but at least i'm contented. Tee hee. Settled down to watch some videos that i rented at the shop ytd. Watched 'click' over at Melvin's hse the night before. It's a a reallie good show by the way..so do catch it. then this afternoon I decided on 'shopgirl'..turned out to be a pretty dry romance show but it wasn't half tt bad. Yep... then proceeded to bake some black and white cookies. Creamed and chilled the dough for a full hour then proceeded to shaping the cookies. Wala...the end product. Stole a bite of it wit a nice cuppa white coffee. Nice way to pass the long, grey afternoon...
Oh, this is the start of something good,
Don't you agree?
I haven't felt like this in so many moons,
You know what I mean?
And we can build through this destruction,
As we are standing on our feet.
So, since you want to be with me,
You'll have to follow through,
With every word you say.
And I, all I really want is you,
You to stick around.
I'll see you everyday,
But you have to follow through.
You have to follow through.
These reeling emotions they just keep me alive,
They keep me in tune.
Oh, look what I'm holding here in my fire,
This is for you.
Am I too obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart.
So, since you want to be with me,
You'll have to follow through,
With every word you say.
And I, all I really want is you,(for) you to stick around.
I'll see you everyday,
But you have to follow through.
The words you say to me are unlike anything that's ever been said.
Ahh, and what you do to me is unlike anything that ever been.
Am I to obvious to preach it?
You're so hypnotic on my heart,
So, since you want to be with me.
You have to follow through, with every word you say.
And I, all I really want is you, (for) you to stick around.
I'll see you everyday.
So, since you want to be with me, you'll have to follow through with every word you say.
And I, all I really want is you, (for)you to stick around.
I'll see you everyday, but you have to follow through.
You have to follow through.
You're gonna have to follow.
Oh, this is the start of something good.
Don't you agree?
my fav pics...
oops..was supposed to write a sequel to the front portion of the trip review but i guess i got a bit lazy...Hehe. The later part of the trip which took us down south of hanoi to halong bay was a disaster by my standards. Travelling was a bore and basically the whole trip was more about waiting and waiting and waiting... GOD.. i swore i cld have killed myself. Curse those vietnamnese. They simply spare no thought for the comfort of their tourists... I mean given such a huge tourist base heading towards halong bay and cat ba island, at least they cld provide for more spacious transportation. Gosh..
Cat Ba island was a let down, perhaps it the off season but then again, everything that have cld have gone wrong did go tt way. Our stupid sleeper boat had an engine failure..and we had to be towed all the way back the mainland... how pathetic... Bah. Kk, lets not tok any more about this, its gonna get my blood boiling again. Bah..
Despite all this, I do have to agree tat Vietnam does have its charm and it does require a patient heart to admire its beauty. Pity I dun have one... But then again, there were fun times, inspirational times..as well as naughty times.. Heh. For now, I shall just end off with a few of fav photos. Enjoy...
mini-spring cleaning
holy smokes
taking in the sights and sounds along the beaten track
At Sapa. given its high altitude, and the season of the year, nights were pretty cold and harsh. Temperatured quickly plunged as the night sets in and my family and I quickly retreated in to a warm italien restaurant furnished with a fire-place and a roaring-cracking fire. Given that it was christmas night as well, we decided to settle in for a nice family dinner together. Something different from the usual vietnamese fare that we had been having for the past few days. Dinner was great. I had the fish capers with lemon and butter. yummilicious.
Another highlight of the trip was having visit the local weekend markets. We were treated to the hustle and bustle of the market as well as the spectacular fare offered. Pigs, chickens, horses, and even puppies were brought for sale at the market. Most memorable would have to be the pigs. Blinded in their sacks, they remain silent. However, once dragged out from their bag, they evolve into monsters, thrashing about furiously in an effort to break free. As though aware of their upcoming fates; to be chopped and grilled into the delicious barbequed pork to be served at our tables. With this in mind, they struggle, snort and squeal like mad till all energy was drained then did they resign to their fate and shiver in the cold. It was indeed a sad sight but oh well..i'll put up with it in place for the tender pork on my plate ANYTIME! wahaha...
oh yesh, did i mention that dog meat is a delicacy in vietnam. Its awful seeing dogs at the market knowing tt these adorable puppies are being bred for their meat. Totally grotesque!!!
the sights and smells in the local market
poor piggies....