a bottle of wine, cut fingers

Wishful thinking

i guess i was wrong...

giving you freedom didn't mean that it would make you return to me the same kind of treatment. u chided in the fact that i showed nonchalence towards your dates and frequent meetups with your other female friends. A matter of fact was that i did not really care nor worry about their lingering presence and their enthusiasm for your companionship. all i knew was that what was meant to be yours would be yours and I was sick and tired of fighting. more or less, i had resolved to fate and God's plan. However, i have came to realise that things don't always work in the way i want them to. I have been selfish...self conceited..

vexed...looks of disapproval, squabbles, fights, broken glass, boody fingers. Things have never looked more bleak. Someone's gotta do something..and i know it has got to be me.

I just dont want to see somone losing himself to the immensity of relationships, overwhelmed by commitment and bonds. i long to see the free-sprited him once again. Someone who couldn't care less for the world. But still, my actions and persistance have proved to be fatal. I have killed you.. torn your insides down. I am deeply sorry for my actions which i seem so unaware about. I just want to see you happy and yet I do everything that would make you cringe on the contrary. Ironic. I have done nothing to be proud of; but yet i see no reason to hang my head in shame. that's just me.

i knoe i love you though...

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