the demand for change from you is killing me. Can I hold my own in a sea of gleaming individuals? Heading back may be akin to holding a shot gun to my head. Uncertainty.. it's killing me, and that's the last place I want to be.

And then I question myself, why am I so resistant to change? Firstly, the purpose of it defeats my easy going nature. Secondly, the subject of its manifestation makes me highly uncomfortable given I've have a history of extreme low self esteem. Lastly, it's possible avenue for failure in this avenue just seems so daunting. It's relentless cat and mouse chase prospects discouraging me from having my first dabble. Then again.. it could be a good avenue for a bit of distraction from my other disorders. Golly..

that aside, in the working world, all's fine. Pardon me as I step off a particular cloud named '9' after the high tea episode last weekend. The reservation we accepted very late into the week after a very persistent me barged in on the boss as a reminder for her to confirm the reservation in order to get the production ball on it's way. We were knee deep in preparation work only 2 days into the event, the weight of the weekend crowds bearing down heavy on our shoulders as well. Thank goodness everything went without a hitch. Something I did not expect as it seemed natural for something to go wrong at any point of time in this madhouse. I would like to confess my deep love for my perfect team of colleagues at work for pulling it all together, their professionalism and dedication is thoroughly astounding. Then again, work chemistry is everything and when we're together it's almost like a dream engine running, except that the elements it's exposed to are surely wearing the valve walls down thinly. Jen, you're truly a bitch sometimes. Mind my language, but I'm headed out of there soon anyway. A blessing in disguise I reckon since tolling there has surely taken some years off my life.

Right now, my warm bed beckons for me. I endure a heart wrenching moment, too many memories to swallow. Let's just leave it to rest... with every passing day, it eases away till one day it evolves into a soft tune resounding in the background. I hope...