leavin' on a jet plane... (again!)

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· Posted by Sihan at
So much beauty in life
Empty on the inside
Shining on the outside

I get lost sometimes
Blinded by the flashing lights
Distractions always in my eyes
So i'm following the sound, the sound of my heart

You can take it all away
I don't need it Beating
Underneath, i'll still be the same
You can take it all away
You can take it all, take it all away
I don't need it, it's not me I'll still be the same

Time can turn it around
Don't you want to love yourself?
Are you hiding still?
Don't you know that someone will?
That's the only way to find it out
Leave it all that's dribbled down
Are you following the sound, the sound of your heart?

Beating
Coming in with nothing, leaving with the same

You can take it all away
I don't need it Beating
Underneath, i'll still be the same
You can take it all away
You can take it all, take it all away
I don't need it, it's not me I'll still be the same

Coming in with nothing, the only thing that saves

It's all inside
Is here inside

Ryan Cabrera - Take it all away

yoz..leaving for Vietnam in a few hours time. Argh... its a kinda dreadful feeling having to leave home again... No christmas nor new year for me. *sobz*.. Hoping to spend some quality time with my family though. To everyone else... here's wishin' you all a MERRY X'MAS and a HAPPIE NEW YEAR!!!

To the top of the world and back

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· Posted by Sihan at
thank you to all the pple who have sent their bdae greetings...feels good to be remembered somehow...

During the short four days of my disappearance, I've been to the top of the world and back down... Finally after all that hype from my parents (who happen to my adventure junkies too!) and a little gentle persuasion from some of my fellow odac mates who happen to be considering the trip, I made a last min. decision to sign up for the trip.
So it was MOUNT KINABALU!!! HERE I COME!!
I was all game for the climb till a few days before then I realise what i've got myself into.. Its the highest peak in south-east asia we're toking about here. And to sum it all up, I had a nasty ankle injury, no prior training to speak of thus no stamina to vouch for.. My goodness..I've got nothing to depend on at all... I began to wonder whether I had made a wrong choice..
Oh well, in the end it all paid off. The trip was good-natured fun despite for the minor crop ups that happened for example in the itinery which basically saw the movement of all the slack days to the front of the trip. Not too bad an idea if u were planning a slack trip just for leisure purposes. But.. we're scaling Mt K.! *slaps forehead*... all the good food, hot spring-ing.. Groanz. But nonetheless, the tree-top walk and the white-water rafting were fantastic..and not forgetting the people who went on the trip. Without fun people around, it would never equate to a fun trip... Serene, Peiqin, Hui Juan, Hui Fang, Grace, Zhen Han, Eugene, Munir and many many more...thanks a whole load guys!!!
view from outside my hostel window

Scaling up the mountain was a whole new experience altogether since I was never climatised to such heights, my lungs and heart had to work doublely hard to pump enough oxygen into my blood. Hence most of the time, light-headness and difficulty of breathing were my worst enemies. Every step up the never-ending flight was like squeezing the life out of my thigh muscles...at one point of time I thought they were gonna BURST! As we ascended higher up into the clouds and mist, the air naturally became thinner and breathing became a chore, my limbs felt like lead and I had to stop every now and then to rest my fatigued muscles.. But I pressed on with the guide right in front of me... took me 4hrs to Laban Rata Lodge at 11 000ft.. one hour ahead of the rest. My God..should I have known I wouldn't have pushed myself so hard!!!Thank goodness for my two fellow companions Hui Juan and Hui Fang who followed closely behind.. after which we allowed our photowhoring nemesis take control... GROOVY shots!!!














after a mere 2 hrs of sleep (which much difficulty), we embarked on the remaining journey up the mountain to the peak.. What was left of the route was steep granite cliffs and exposed flat terrain. All this put as at maximum exposure to the strong chilly winds and the icy cold temperatures which dipped to a low of 4 degrees near 3am in the morning. We climbed on, with only thought in mind; '' To reach the summit". Just that was enough to spur me on towards the summit. For me, it was a trip of agony, every step up the rocky granite slopes being a test of mental strength. My ankle failed on me as trudging up the inclined slopes required strength from the calves and ankles which I failed to possesed. Hence it was a horrifying experience for me. With the chillness of the morning air, the magnificant blanket of stars overhead, the darkness of the night sky and the constant encouragement of my frens, I pressed on towards the peak. Alas, in time to catch the sun rise and even had a little time to spare to catch a hot sip of milo courtesy of the trip IC Eugene. I was more than grateful as the frosty winds nipped at our skin, the deadly cold reached even till the insides and my hands were numb. Again, I've only got myself to blame for not bringing a pair of gloves along... Heh.

But soon the sun rose and like a great ball of fire, heated the land within the reach of its warm rays. I was awed by the spectacular views that greeted me all of which were a scene of black before the sun rose from its deep slumber.



Thank You God for making this wonderful world... and for opening my eyes to see your beautiful creations.














oh..did I mention that the climb down was worst than the climb up. My knees and ankles morphed into a pile of woobly jelly. gosh, time to recover and recuperate! Will be off to Vietnam tmr and be back by 1st Jan! Gosh.. I reallie need a breather... Kk, back to packing.
Okie after much discussions with Zhen Han Kor, I realised tt there a million and one places I wanna go before get old and immobile. To name a few, they would be Titiwangsa, New Zealand (to do extreme sports!!!), Europe, Mt Kilamanjaro and many many more!!! Gosh, reallie gotta start planning all my hols..optimise the use of all my holidays!!! only problem is the cash flow... Hmph..dun worrie..i'll work my magic.. Tee hee...

Here's a collage to summarise the whole trip. I'VE CONQUERED MOUNT KINABALU!!!


the birthday episode

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· Posted by Sihan at
Finally... join the ranks of the 20s...oh dun get me wrong..i'm not reallie too keen on tt. Older = more responsibility, assumed maturity of thoughts and actions, and higher accountability for your own actions. wat so great about that?!?! Given a choice, i would rather stay a kid FOREVER!... oh well, the only consolation is that everyone else is growing old with you. WAHAHA. as my brother said ytd, "its only when you grow older that you realise that your parents are ageing too." ... Gosh, thats so true...

Yesterday, (as put in Shengrong's words) was an affair of wholesome fun. Went out with the family and had dinner at our all time fav waraku jap restaurant. Hadn't had such a great time with them in such a long time. It was all smiles and laughters. Baby joined us for dinner as well..and i must say he was a wonderful addition to the family*woops*..haha. Oh yesh..I MUST tell you about the present i got from my family!!! Guess what I got?!?! the ROWENTA LISSIMA IONIC HAIRDRYER!!! HURRAY!!! the whole family was involved which made it even sweeter. Money from Dad, seeking of information done by mummy dear, and darling weiquan went down all the way to tangs to get it for me! and even got it gift wrapped.. gosh..I can't stop gushing! but i was seriously pleasantly surprised. Thanks guys... oh and not forgetting Kor, he wrote me a card..tt was sweet.. thank you for the valuable advice bro!
then after... mummy dear had a sudden craving for the apple tart from bakerzin. so...we scuttled over to the branch at bakerzin. Baby and I shared a ice-cream waffle which was delectable..crisp waffle lightly soaked in strawberry paste and a dallop of ice-cream over the top. Yums!!!

now..time for another miracle... midnight shopping at marina!! woah..went insane! gosh, think i have had too much to buy these two days. Purchased 1 dress, 4 tops and a pair of shoes in a matter of hours... My goodness.. its the sales i tell you. they corrupt you and lure you into doing these things! i'm innocent... *pout*.. but nvm, i was one happie shopper. hehe.

midnite striked..it was my bdae!!! the family serenaded happy birthday to me in the car on the way home. It was hilarious...haha. Thank God for my family... they certainly are the joy of my life.

Just when i thought tat the already magical night had come to an end, baby emerged at my doorstep with a card and what else? sunflowers!!! my fav! *muackz* love you loads baby...


je t'aime mes fleurs!!!

baby reading the instructions....



its mine!!!

to the ignorant few out there...

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· Posted by Sihan at
Today we come together to celebrate the birth of a beautiful child into this world. We give thanks to the Lord for breathing life into this child so that she might to live to see, to play and to walk through the treacherous yet beautiful paths of life, hand in hand with the Lord... *BLAH BLAH BLAH*..

CUT THE CRAP!!!

note to the IGNORANT few out there:

Its the 16th December today and it is SIHAN's 20th BIRTHDAY!!!!

happie birthday to me..
happie birthday to me,
happie birthday to sihan,
happie birthday to me!

*pout*

I was down my dreams were wearing thin
When you're lost where do you begin
My heart always seemed to drift from day to day
Looking for the love that never came my way

Then you smiled and I reached out to you I could tell you were lonely too
One look and then it all began for you and me
The moment that we touched
I knew that there would be

CHORUS
Two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people
In the world tonight

Just to think what I might have missed
Looking back how did I exist
I dreamed, still I never thought I'd come this far
But miracles come true, I know 'cause here we are

Tonight I fell in love with you
And all the things I never knew
Seemed to come to me somehow
Baby, love is here and now there's

Two less lonely people in the world
And it's gonna be fine
Out of all the people in the world
I just can't believe you're mine
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there's two less lonely people In the world tonight

p.s. please stay tuned for more updates for the birthday...

rude awakening

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· Posted by Sihan at
Gosh..was trying to slp this morning and was rudely disturbed by one call after another. All of which i answered with a slp-head and almost idiotic voice... Gosh.. pardon me. First one being from mummy about tonight's dinner plans and something about a hair-dryer. Gollie, I was too blur to decipher her rattlings, so i just dismissed them and sorta agreed in contention to whatever she was saying, also with a dull consistent "ahuh".. HAHA.
Second call was from this Michelle gurl..oops or was it Serene (excusez moi..but i was slping!!!) ..yeh anyway she was calling from mos. Apparently it was regarding the birthday reservation tt i made for a table and drinks package for members for tonite. Guess I forgot about it. Woopsie..haha.Yeh..so point is tt I was kinda pissed becoz when i made the reservation, they told me tt they would send a staff to contact me soon. Tt was a week ago for god's sake..and still no news from them until the morning before!?! lyke HELLO!!!.. isn't it a tad too late? gosh..wat inefficiency...

Heck it all... soon i was in lala land again...*snooze*

Je suis TRES fatiguee...

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· Posted by Sihan at
Do you have any idea how painful it is to want to be with somebody and not be able to? To be physically close, sitting alongside each other, But the invisible barrier like an undestructable wall, stands in between.

I missed him even more then. Though he was right beside me; close enough to feel the gentle rising of his chest and his slow and steady breath, his soul was not present. Drifting away with the passing winds into any dimension. I had lost my grip on him, he was no longer with me, our hearts were no longer intertwined. I feel a sense of loss... and perhaps a tinge of guilt...



Made Butter cookies for Baby today. Hoped he liked it...was meant to make up for all the 'weird' behaviour from me this week. But doubt it worked... Bah..

Went out to have dinner avec mon petite ami in town. Then we headed to St James Power station for the launch party of powerhouse coz I had two special invities via sms. The place done up pretty nicely, a pity the crowd wan't too excited. Party spoilers...BOO!!! went around the building exploring..saw a handful of celebs... and we came to a conclusion that St James Power House is a BIG MESS!!! Hehe. Oh well, still a nice place to visit for novelty's sake.

curse the period

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· Posted by Sihan at
Today's dinner = comfort food. Managed to produce something from whatever that is left in the fridge. Seems that no one is too concerned about restocking the fridge since Auntie Nora is absent. HELLO!!! *waves hands frantically*.. I'm still here u knoe and I CAN COOK! bah... Does anyone even care about my existance? So wah la..in a matter of an hour..I managed to whip out this...

I named it by the way... haha

Anyway, it was a hit with my little bro. Funny becoz given that his love for vegetables is what you would call vacuous; and the fact that the dish was laden of the 'potent' stuff, cauliflower, carrots, tomatoes, garlic and what not. My mother was laughing in glee as she scooped bowl after bowl for my bro... *phew*... you have no idea how hard it is to get my brother to eat his veges, what more to take a liking for it. WAHAHA. Looks are deceptive... guess it must be the nice camouflage provided by the pretty blanket of melted parmesan cheese and juicy tender chicken cubes... *drooling*..hehe.

Yeh... got striked pretty bad today. The cramps..the aches, the sores springing up on every single known muscle on my body. Damm... curse the period, curse womanhood!!!!

btw, here's my favourite quote from casino royale.. if u guys ain't catch it yet..PLEASE go watch it! its tres tres bien!!!

"Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a,large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?"

-Bond


Damm..he has all the pretty bitches huh...





Oh yesh...Here's a reallie belated bdae greeting going out to ollie!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! hehe.. 8th dec rite? Sorrie..was a little caught up with work. *Bleah*..Hope you're having great fun in York.. remember to bring a pretty black guy home for me to see!!! HEHE

lalala...life is fair

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· Posted by Sihan at
Ma, can i sleep it all away?

Maybe i'll feel better tt way...

*yawnz*

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· Posted by Sihan at
Feeling awfully domesticated today... Auntie Nora is back in Philipines for the xmas season. So its up to me to prepare the meals for the family. Woke up late, dragged byself out of bed...assessed the situation. Appeareared my brother didn't seem to concerned about his lunch. I cldn't let the poor guy starve so i went down to preparing lunchie for Kor under the constant reminder of Jiahui jie to make sure tt Kor ate his lunch. We both know that he is a VERY VERY LAZY fella, so someone's gotta do the dirty work.But it was rather simple. Just cooked some rice and then seasoned the meat to make our all time favourite steamed mince meat. Meanwhile while lunch was still cookin' away in the kitchen, the boiling water whistling away in the wok and steam gushing out from the sides, i recieved a call from the majesty...

Bah.wat majesty??? It was just mummy calling to make a special order for tonite...Shepherd's pie! coz she had a sudden crazing for beef...(tok about pregnant women...NONO..dun be mistaken..my mum ain't pregnant. Wld be a tad farnie at her age too..Hmph) Yeh..so I nonchanlently agreed to it since I had nothing better to do anyway..
So after on it was a short trip to cold storage to stock up on the missin' ingredients. That went pretty well and soon I was back home cookin' up a storm..and of coz..creating a mess out of the kitchen. (hey..but i do clean up after myself okie!!!)

Melvin joined us for dinner too...It was good. Glad tt my parents got along so well with him..wait.. i think i said it wrongly, rather..he got along so well with my parents. Woops... Haha. Yep. Dinner was pleasant despite the many comments from my little brother...But good or bad, it doesn't reallie get to me.. I'm my own worst critique...

Menu for the nite:






Mummy's fav: Shepherd's Pie







Dessert: Strawberry lemon pie (i learnt to make jam from scratch today!!! by trial and error coz i cldn't find the strawberry puree in the supermart. haha)

Sides: Steamed Mixed Vegetables

+ Red wine...


Anyway, its my birthday in a few days. *bleah*..still no plans yet. (Dazed look) Can't be bothered reallie. Its just another birthday. Only an occasion to 'celebrate' myself getting a year older... a year closer to my death, is that in any case a good cause for celebration.. NAH!!! dun think so... heh.

Just recieved invites to the launch of St James Power Station. Looks kinda exciting... quite intrigued by the structural design of the place. Shld look pretty awesome with its 5 storey high ceilings...Hmph. maybe i shld go check it out sometime.. Also got invites to the lauch of The Clinic..which has been the constant rave on class 95. situated at the cannery... the website is erm..how do describe it.. Weird and neurotic. Very strange indeed. Haha.

Orite..gotta go to bed now... apparently stubborn baby refuses to go to bed without me going to bed at the same time. *bleah*.. ORITE..COMING!!!. Au revoir.

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· Posted by Sihan at

I stare into the mirror,
to see a face staring back.
A face I want to see closer,
a face that I lack.

I apply the eyeliner smoothly,
and lip gloss like a river.
under this makeup I bury,
my feelings I never deliver.

And the face that smiles back at me,
is a face that is unknown.
For the girl I show everybody,
is a girl who's always alone.
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